Three drops of poison…

Okay, I’m super excited 😀 I think I’ve finally figured out the theme of my Ivy League College Thriller:

The three poisons–desire, aversion, and delusion—lead to suffering.

And let me tell you, it has been quite the journey getting here. Just this morning, I was tweeting:

Haven’t worked out ending completely yet, but idea is new friends betray her but old friend takes fall for her. Maybe there is theme in that? But still – it would be about embracing safe status quo and rejecting the new and exciting 🤨 not sure that’s what I was going for 🤣 2/2

— Yanicke Forfang (@yanickeforfang) November 7, 2022

Then, suddenly, the answer came to me – a Buddhist concept that has long resonated with me – the idea that the key to contentment lies with eliminating desire, and basically appreciating what you have. By inverse, desire leads to suffering, which is absolutely perfect for this book.

So, I went about researching Buddhism and it’s view on desire causing suffering and came across this gem:

In Buddhism, desire and ignorance lie at the root of suffering. By desire, Buddhists refer to craving pleasure, material goods, and immortality, all of which are wants that can never be satisfied. As a result, desiring them can only bring suffering. Ignorance, in comparison, relates to not seeing the world as it actually is. Without the capacity for mental concentration and insight, Buddhism explains, one’s mind is left undeveloped, unable to grasp the true nature of things. Vices, such as greed, envy, hatred and anger, derive from this ignorance. _{Basics of Buddhism (pbs.org)}

And then I remembered a book I was listening to about Stoic philosophy, which spoke about a similar path to (what Stoic’s term contentment) virtue. So, I googled Stoicism’s view of desire and suffering and found this:

Desire causes suffering just as much as aversion, and this is often why they are called “the root of all suffering.”
_{Desire Causes Suffering Explained (stoichandbook.co)}

So, I thought – Wow! Now I have a theme, and one rooted in ancient ideas, no less. Pretty cool!

After a little more digging, I went on to learn desire, aversion, and delusion are also known as the three unwholesome roots, the three poisons, or the three fires. _{Root Poisons – Freeing Oneself from Suffering and Its Causes (buddhist-spirituality.com)}

I’m thinking maybe I might be able to derive a title from the novel from this. Three Drops of Poison perhaps, or using this Thriller Book Title Generator – Writers Write, The Poison House or The Poison History (lol), Poison Lies, The Poison Path (or A Path of Poison), Poison Eyes, The Lovely Poison, A Penchant for Poison… 😛

Breaking it down, there are effectively 3 misbeliefs combined in this one theme:

1. Greed is good
2. Failure is unacceptable.
3. Ignorance is bliss.

Annika’s Fear	Annika’s Misbelief	The Truth	Annika’s Perceived Path to Happiness
Emptiness, loneliness, depression	Greed is good	Desire leads to suffering   Desire what you already have (gratitude is the key to happiness)	Being a part of Veronica and Marcus’ exclusive world (desire)
Fear of Failure Making serious mistakes that can’t be fixed and have serious consequences. Stems from lack of confidence in abilities (ie. expects to make mistakes)	Failure is unacceptable   It’s better to never try than try and make mistakes. It’s better to regret what you didn’t do, than to regret what you have done. It’s better to err on the side of caution	Aversion leads to suffering   Mistakes are the path to growth	Staying in university forever so she feels safe (ie. doesn’t have to worry about making mistakes in the real world that have real consequences) (aversion)
Fear of Knowledge Losing everything because she discovers something bad Fear of anxiety Fear of disappointment	Ignorance is bliss	Delusion leads to suffering   Knowledge is power	Staying willfully blind to aspects/actions of others that are bad – seeing people the way she wants to see them (ie. through rose-colored glasses) (delusion)

So, yay! I feel like I’m starting to get somewhere now.

2022, here I come…

Wow! It’s hard to believe but I haven’t posted on here since pre-Covid days. These past two years have certainly been a whirlwind. 

I have much to update. In March 2020, I signed with an amazing agent, who fell in love with Boudica and Aiden’s story enough to offer me representation. We worked together for a few months, and she gave me some incredible advice that, I think, has helped me more than any other advice I’ve ever received (more on that later), and I set forth on a journey of rewrites.

Sadly, though (although this was an exciting and wonderful turn for my agent), in late 2020 Chrysa retired from her agenting career to focus on her upcoming wedding and the next chapter of her life.

I have to say though, I’m so grateful for the time I spent working with her. To be able to share my story with someone who believed in its potential was a dream come true, and I gained useful insight into a problem that has plagued my writing since day dot.

My main characters are too polite and too passive.

Ever since I first put my writing out there, one piece of feedback I’ve consistently received is that my pacing is off. How to fix this, though, I could never seem to work out, no matter how I tried. I studied plotting books, looked at the structure of books and movies I love, tore my story to shreds and rebuilt (several times) but to very little avail.

It wasn’t until Chrysa pointed out I’d written Boudica too passive in a rewrite that the penny dropped. My main characters are too much like me 😛 hahaha But truly, I’m being serious. And when I told Dave what Chrysa had said he laughed and said the exact same thing. Anyone who knows me knows I’m an introvert who avoids conflict at all costs. I don’t like to rock the boat, and I will run and hide rather than face discomfort. And unfortunately this personality trait of mine has impacted negatively on my writing!!!!

So, even when I was ticked the plotting boxes (I strive to follow the three act structure – Save The Cat is my bible), my actual story wasn’t as compelling as it should be because I wasn’t putting my MC out there in the action. Things in the plot would happen, and then Boudica would sit in her room while other people went out and slayed the dragon, so to speak.

While working on my current rewrite (rewrite #7), I have kept this in mind the whole time, and I think (fingers crossed) this has made a huge difference to my pacing.

Now, I know I’ll never be able to make my novel exactly the way I want it to be–there is always something I can improve upon–but I’m hoping, this time, it’s good enough. And by good enough, I mean good enough for me to let go.

I must move on. I have to leave Boudica and Aiden behind and dive into the world of Danica and Astrid. I need to finish a different book to the one I’ve been working on since 2009.

So, that is the plan – my 2022 goal. Finish my current rewrite then set it aside, and finally finish my portal fantasy. The first draft is written, all I have to do is flesh it out and make it pretty 😀

Something old, something new…

So… I’ve finally finished my rewrite!!! YES!!!

And here is my final one-paragraph pitch… 

Set in eighteenth-century Scotland, A WHISPER OF DEATH is a YA historical paranormal romance in which a young vampire whisperer joins forces with her childhood sweetheart turned vampire to defeat a clan of Celtic vampires, aka baobhan sith, bent on wiping out her kind. Trouble is, the baobhan sith leading the genocide is masquerading as someone she loves.

Now, I’m plotting my next masterpiece 😀

I had planned to jump straight to my YA Portal Fantasy. The first draft is already written, and the first four chapters are completely done. But my Ivy League college thriller is badgering me, running around in my head like a hyperactive child and tugging on my mind’s proverbial sleeve, and I’m feeling particularly inspired. So, onto my Ivy League college thriller manuscript I go.

I already have three characters in my head. There’s the main character, of course, who, at this moment, I think of as Annika, but this could change. In fact, it might need to. I just realised this morning I tend to choose names for my main characters that sound like mine (eg. Boudica, Danica, Annika).

Then, there’s Veronica and Marcus.

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In my mind, Veronica resembles Kristine Frøseth and Marcus, Ben Schnetzer (both of whom happened to star in The Harry Quebert Affair, which is a great series btw). When I think of Annika, I think of a cool classic, Hitchcock-style blonde, like Sarah Gadon.

The story will be set at an Ivy League college (inspired by UQ), against a backdrop of sandstone buildings and vibrant purple Jacaranda trees. It will be a thriller along the lines of The Talented Mr Ripley meets The Secret History, only with Law students (as they say, write what you know). There’ll be blackmail and intrigue and… murder.

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I can’t wait to get started writing!

For now though, I’m researching how to write thrillers, watching movies and reading novels, all so I can organise the scenes in my head into a suitable order. This, I think, is the hardest part. Do I put the murder halfway? Or should it be the climax of the book? And pacing!!! I have to make sure I get that right.

Worse still, it looks like this story might need to be split into two books, which means I probably have another ten years to go before I finish this project ☹ Why, oh why, can’t I just write a simple story? For some reason, I always have to get complicated with twists and turns and layers.

But, if I can pull off what I want to pull off it will be a killer novel… fingers crossed!

Bienvenue 2019

 

I’ve been meaning to write this post for a few weeks now but I’ve been so busy doing Christmas and New Year things with my family, and writing here and there, I haven’t been motivated to carve out the time.

  

  

Some of the things we’ve been doing here in Tassie, include: climbing trees, playing pooh sticks, visiting the forestation, playing golf, feeding the horsey, and going for long walks…

So, yes another year has ended and it is now 2019. All I can think is, where did the last 19 years go? Nevertheless, I thought I would do a resolution post. It’s been a while since I posted one and the last time I did, I really enjoyed looking back on it the following December to see how many of my goals I achieved — which turned out to be a lot more than I expected!!!

So this year, given my previous success, I thought I’d include a resolution that is a little bit unusual for me, something that feels a little frivolous but definitely doable.

So without further ado, here are my resolutions for 2019…

1. Finish the rewrite of my book

2019 is looking more and more like the year I will finally finish my rewrite. Currently, I’m working on scene 45. Once completed, I’ll only have one or two more scenes to write until I’ve finished all twelve the diary entry scenes! Then all that is left is rewriting the final third of my book which is already written, but just needs to be changed to present tense and some scenes reworked into idea’s perspective. So yes, a finished manuscript by the end of 2019 is looking very promising 🙂

2. Learn some French (my frivolous plan)

Over the past three weeks, while I’ve been here in Tassie, I’ve watched most of season 1 of Escape to the Château DIY, and pretty much fallen in love with the idea of visiting France one day. In fact, after talking to David, I’ve been thinking I’d like us to stay in a whole bunch of places, once we finally retire and the boys have grown up. Three months in England, three months in France, three months in Canada, three months on the east coast of the USA, and the list goes on. Three months at a time so we can live more like locals than tourists. I even checked out long term rentals online, and it turns out there are plenty of holiday houses you can rent around the world for the same cost as renting here in Australia.

But given my current binge-watching escapades, France is currently number one on my list. So, in the spirit of all things new and resolute, I thought, “why not learn some French?” and downloaded the Duolingo app.

My resolution for 2019 is to complete all the French Duolingo levels by the end of the year, which I think is quite doable. And funnily enough, my middle son has been doing the classes with me and he is a little language machine. Although, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised given his affinity for memorising obscure dinosaur names, since before he was even two years old. He’s always had a good ear and a talented memory for unusual words.

3. Adopt some new lifestyle habits

Last year, while not a resolution of mine, I managed to implement a new practice in my life which ultimately became a new habit. This is quite unusual for me. Usually I’ll start something new and then stick with it for all of about a month or two. But in 2018, I introduced audiobooks to my daily routine, and now they are an integral — and much cherished — part of my day to day life.

It’s funny, but after making this change, I feel like I have a little bit more power to change my life. I can implement new activities and routines to improve my life for the better, and mould my real life into the life I aspire to in my head.

So, into my day to day routine, I would like to incorporate three new things:

1. Drink more water every day. I’m already doing this, and want to continue 🙂

2. Special family dinners every Sunday and experimenting with new recipes. A few weeks ago I watched (for the second time) the Julie & Julia movie which I thoroughly enjoyed. It inspired in me a curiosity: to try some of Julia Child’s recipes! I’ve already ordered a copy of her book Mastering the Art of French Cuisine (Volumes 1 and 2), which hopefully will be waiting for me at home when I return to Brisbane next week.

 

On a more general note, I would very much like to try to experiment with cooking a bit more on a day to day basis — ie. making bread rolls, bread, and other things like that. While I’ve been in Tassie this trip, I’ve cooked a few treats, including apple crumble and my favourite cheesy potato bake, as well as a whole bunch of seasonal fair (such as fruit mince pies, chocolate truffles, cookies and white Christmas). One day I promise I will get around to sharing my favourite recipes on here.

   

  

3. And lastly I’d like to make more of an effort with my appearance. These days, with my hectic schedule, I resort to t-shirts and jeans every single day. It would be nice to be a bit more adventurous and maybe add a few French style items to my wardrobe. Like this lovely scarf I received as a gift this Christmas…

But we will see how that goes… lol

Anyways, Happy New Year!!! And good luck with any resolutions you may have 😀

My favourite things #4: Fruit Mince Pies

In the spirit of everything Christmas, I thought I might share my favourite Christmas treat recipe – Fruit Mince Pies 🙂

Ingredients:

Pastry
• 2 ¼ cups plain flour
• ¾ cup ground almonds
• ¾ cup sugar
• 277 g butter
• 2 egg yolks
• 1 ½ table spoon water

Filling
• 2 x 410g jars fruit mince
• ¼ cup sweet condensed milk

Topping
• 400g marzipan
• 1 cup ground almonds
• ½ cup sweet condensed milk

Tools required:

• sift
• rolling pin
• 6 ½ cm fluted cutter
• electric mixer
• mixing spoon
• cutting knife
• cup and saucepan
• several mixing bowls
• 2 x large muffin tins
• 24 circles of baking paper (cut to size of base of muffin tin holes)
• Spray olive oil (better than canola as canola oil froths)

Instructions:

Pastry

1. Sift flour into a bowl, add almonds and sugar.
2. Rub butter in.
3. Add egg yolks and water.
4. Mix to firm doe. Split into two halves to make it easier to work with.
5. Roll pastry out onto lightly floured surface to 5mm thickness.
6. Cut into rounds using 6 1/2cm fluted cutter.
7. Spray muffin tins with olive oil and place circles of baking paper onto bottom of every muffin tin hole.
8. Line large muffin pans with pastry.

Filling

1. Mix together.

Topping:

1. Grind almonds in the mixer; chop marzipan into small blocks (with a little icing sugar).
2. Combine marzipan, extra almonds, extra condensed milk and egg whites, mix until smooth, spoon onto fruit.

Cooking:

1. Bake on 200* C (or 180* C if fan forced) for 15-20 min, till golden brown.
2. Allow to cool before removing from pans (so they don’t fall apart), and dust with icing sugar before serving.

Makes 22 to 24 pies.

 

Is it time for a snoopy dance, yet?

I’m happy to say, since my last post 11 weeks ago, I have achieved the following:

Listened to three audiobooks…

 

Watched season 1 of A Discovery of Witches on TV, which was good but sadly IMHO not as good as the book 😦

And while I do think Matthew Goode is a wonderful actor, I’m sad to say he isn’t the Matthew de Clairmont I imagined. In my mind, I pictured de Clairmont as being more of a Henry Fitzroy from Blood Ties than a Charles Ryder from Brideshead. But alas, I would rather a Charles Ryder than no de Clairmont at all…

Matthew de Clairmont? Now this is more like it…

Started re-watching True Blood, which is totally getting me in the mood for a long, hot, humid summer…

Rewrote scene 37 (as planned in my last post) AND finished scenes 38, 39, 40 and 41. Currently, I’m 400 words into scene 42!!!

So I have to say, I’m pretty stoked with my progress. I finally broke through the barrier I was stuck at for 5 months, and only have 4 1/2 new scenes left to write. Once they’re done, I‘ll be on the downward stretch – just rewriting/editing the third act of my novel (which is about 30,000 words). And I love rewriting/editing 😀

At this rate, it looks like this draft will end up being approx. 110,000 words, and will hopefully be finished in 2019 😀 How wonderful that will be.

Then I’ll have to go back through the whole thing combing for anachronistic dialogue and prose… But I won’t mind that part because finally AGAIN I will have a complete novel.

Time for a snoopy dance…

The first day of the rest of my life…

I thought it was about time I checked in again. It’s been so long since I’ve written anything non-work related, let alone a blog post.

A lot has happened since I last posted:

I’ve finished at least four more audiobooks…

Pretty much completed the renovations of my writing room…

 

(The change is significant, considering how it used to look…)

Caught up with the Print Posse gals…

But still I haven’t written anything more in my novel. In fact, this weekend I plan to actually tear to shreds the last “new” scene I wrote and rewrite from the ground up. But I feel ready now… or at least I think I do. Actually, I feel pretty awful about the whole not-writing thing. Since I started writing seriously back in March 2009, this is the first time I’ve had so much time off. It’s scary and makes me feel like I’m not a writer at all, and then I start thinking “but what will I do if I don’t write?” I’ve kind of planned my whole future life around writing and all my writing plans. Without it, my life (and by “my life” I mean my personal, internal life within myself) would be pretty empty. I would be lost. Writing gives that part of me meaning. A purpose. Self-satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.

I have to write!!! I just have to!!!

But right now, not having written for so long (since April), I feel disconnected from a huge part of myself. I have to get back into it. I have to force myself to do it. I only have 11 new scenes to write, for goodness sake. All that stands between me and moving on to my new project is freakin’ 11 new scenes and then a reworking (which I love doing) of the final act. Blah! I just have to do it and break this drought.

That is the plan anyway. This Saturday I am sitting down in front of my computer and rewriting this last scene I wrote. I’m gonna make it better and then I’m going to write the next scene and the next and the next (well, not all this Saturday, but I’m going to at least get started). Then I will feel better. Then I will be a writer again.

Lol I just realised Saturday will be the first day after I turn 40 (my birthday is on Friday). What a great start to the next decade of my life 😀

If speaking is silver, then listening is gold…

I’ve recently reacquainted myself with audio books…

Back when I lived in Tassie, I delved into the amazing world of audio books, purchasing several Nicholas Sparks audio books on CD and listening to them while I exercised. It’s been more than 10 years since then, and last week I purchased my first audio book since The Wedding on Audible.com – Looking For Alaska by John Green (Between you and me, I have a secret love for John Green stories which, it just occurred to me, happen to be in the same vein as those of Nicholas Sparks. Who would have thunk it, hey?).

These days, between working, looking after the boys and writing when I can steal a morning, finding time to read is tricky. Usually by the time I go to bed and lie down with a novel, I’m so tired I only manage get through a page or two before the lure of sleep overtakes me. With audio books, though, I can listen to them in my car on the way home from dropping off the boys at school in the morning, and on the way to picking them up in the afternoon. And that’s a good hour a day!!!

In one week I’ve almost finished Looking For Alaska, a feat which might have taken me months if I’d been reading the novel at night time alone 😀 

I must admit though, I feel a little overwhelmed by all the audiobooks I have to choose from. I’ve already decided the next audio book I’ll be listening to Brideshead Revisited. Not only because I’ve been wanting to read this book since forever, it’s also only a little over 2 hours long! After that, though, I have no idea.

Night Circus, perhaps? Or The Bronze Horseman? I’ve long wanted to read both of these novels. Or maybe I’ll delve into a series, like Vampire Academy or Laurell K Hamilton’s Anita Blake series. Some other YA books have made it onto my wish list too – Eleanor & Park and All The Bright Places. I guess we shall see which one ultimately grabs my attention.

Regardless of what my next selection will be, I’m so excited at the thought of all the books I’m going to be able to devour now that I’ve rediscovered Audiobooks!

Just a quick note before I go – I thought I’d share with you my favourite quote from Looking For Alaska. When Miles asks Alaska why she smokes so damn fast, she replies:

“Y’all smoke to enjoy it. I smoke to die.”

Best. Line. Ever.

Memories…

Today this memory came up in my Facebook feed from 4 years ago:

And this one from 8 years ago:

Funny how 8 years on this post is still just as pertinent as ever — 4 years on I’m still working on that same book!!!

At least I’m consistent 😀

Harvard Law… who am I kidding?

In the spirit of wet weather and cuddling up in a cosy jumper and sneakers (yes, after days and days of plus 30 degrees heat, it’s actually raining here today and only 19.9 degrees!!!) I pulled on my jeans and favourite Harvard T-shirt before heading down to the office. To those not in the know, I love anything Ivy League (I’m even plotting an Ivy League thriller) and on a whim decided to search the net to see what sort of Harvard University-related gear I could find 🙂

Much to my delight, I came across this cool website:

Apparently it’s run by none other than the students of Harvard themselves!

I just love how they add at the bottom of each item’s description: All orders designed, packaged, and shipped by Harvard University students.

Some of my favourite items would have to be…

This sweatshirt tote bag: 

That Harvard Trapper Beanie (like OMG how gorgeous!!!): 

And these folders: 

This striped scarf: 

That T: 

And those pencils: 

Although if I’m being brutally honest, I might have to add this one from Etsy to my list… cos here in my office it’s   all round 😀